Is it typical to identify your loved one as your *own* self?

>I think we all find some traits in common with our partner or we wouldn't be attracted to them. There are two groups of thinking, one is that you can never get along with someone just like yourself and the other is that you can only get along with someone like yourself. In either case, you are not really paying attention to the other person or honoring them as an individual in their own independent rights. Putting ideas into your head that someone is just like you or not like you (and thus your own self) is a mistake, I think. It's always better to honor the other person for who they are being, regardless of what that may be.